Free Advice

Through the years, I’ve given lots of free advice. I’m beginning to realize that’s been a very bad character trait.

Advice — the wise don’t need it and the fools won’t heed it.

Free — the perception of something worth nothing.

So, this week, when I said “No, thanks,” to an opportunity of continuing in my tradition of offering free advice, the response was enlightening. Well, I was enlightened. The person making the request was shocked. They were shocked that I would, could, should, and did say, “No.”

Engaging in a mutually beneficial relationship (two-way street of offering and receiving) is different from demanding a response (one-way street of taking).

We get what we allow. For years, my immaturity was assuaged by giving free advice. The act of giving appeared noble and it made me feel like a hero. After all, Trusted Business Advisor, at one time, was the moniker of the CPA profession.

There is a very fine line, though, between an act of commerce and codependency. Commerce recognizes “Yes and No” as the two sides of the same coin. Codependency is defined as doing for others what they could, should, and would do for themselves, if we simply said “No.”

In fact, this most recent request for free advice was related to purely business matters. The resources for the answers to this new series of questions had already been given in response to an earlier request.

While my earlier gift of free advice was taken with no expression of appreciation, my offer to provide Advisory Services for a fee was berated and ignored.

Never give Advice — The wise don’t need it and the fools won’t heed it.

The individual asking for advice has every right to express their choice to do nothing by saying, “No, thanks.” Freely offered and freely rejected. That’s the way commerce works. Change nothing — Nothing changes.

However, a price is paid for everything. To choose This, we forego That. Every thought and every action involves some measure of time or money. Asking anything of anybody involves either an act of commerce (exchange of money) or sacrifice (offering of time).

Regardless of the relationship, giving respect to the person responding to our request is a valuable courtesy and currency.

Asking is more than OK — It is our responsibility to ASK.

The issue is — There is a price to be paid. Are we willing to participate in the payment of the price (commerce), or do we expect something for nothing (sacrifice)?

As for me, I’ll continue to engage in commerce and sacrifice.

I will choose, though, which it is.

www.kimfoard.com

Three To Be

For every ending, there is a new beginning.

Leading the way into a bigger word is a little one: Be.

See it?

Be-ginning!

Shakespeare asked the questions, “To be — or, not to be?”

There, really, isn’t a question of our existence. The answer is in the exploration of what it is, “To Be.”

Sterling Character

Yes, the adjective is subjective. Nobody wakes in the morning to believe their character is bad. Yet, do we wake to the Wooden Creed? “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”

Again, some might want to argue that ‘best‘ is subjective. It is, if we compare ourselves to others. It is not, if we judge ourselves to a higher standard. Through all of civilization, there have been Codes of Conduct. The best of them are simply a map to guide us in The Journey to the highest quality of life.

Passionate Commitment

Knowing something and doing it are two, entirely, different concepts. In fact, choosing one and forgoing the many is the purest definition of commitment. Contempt for failure and death is another measure of being, all in — or, all out — if we consider the example of the skydiver.

At the moment of jumping from a perfectly good airplane, the skydiver is committed to reaching the ground. They have two choices: Dead — or, Alive. In other words, if they have a passion for life, their entire focus is on a successful landing.

Dynamic Communication

Before babies can say a single word, they are effective communicators. By facial expression, tone of voice, and body language, they command attention. They know what they want and how to ASK for it. Why are so many adults dysfunctional? They stopped learning. Literally, the answer is that simple.

We are either growing — or, we are dying. Entropy is the natural physical condition. There is a higher realm, which requires pushing beyond the resistance of what ‘Is’, — to what can ‘Be.’ All we do begins with a thought. We learn by doing. The fun is in the doing. Let’s have fun learning.

In the course of a lifetime, people will come and people will go. There are chance encounters, whereby strangers become friends. There are diabolical missions of deceit, whereby wolves appear to be sheep. In between, are all other opportunities for new relationships.

There is a season for all things. Remember, though, there is only one YOU. You are a unique creation, no better than any other — yet, just as good as all the others.

As others seek a relationship, begin with the end in mind — 1.) Sterling Character,
2.) Passionate Commitment, and 3.) Dynamic Communication.

Three To Be — Free.

www.kimfoard.com