Desires and Fulfillment

Difference between Want and Want To
Since desire is never satisfied, why is our society focused on the thing — rather than the being, doing, and growing into a priceless dynamic creation of value to others?

For more than fifty years, the focus has been on the want — rather than the want to.

In fact, the mantra has been, “I want, what I want, when I want it.”

Ego has become a god unto itself.

The propaganda of appeasing the appetite for careers, houses, and money has dulled our inner sense of fulfillment and happiness.

Let’s take a look at the difference between the want and the want to — of service.

Do we want a career? Or, do we want to grow and teach?

Do we want a fancy house? Or, do we want to provide a sanctuary of love, which protects and nourishes our families?

Do we want money? Or, do we want to enrich the lives of others, until the marketplace returns priceless rewards?

We all know this fact, “Wants are optional.”

There is another universal principle, “Needs can, only, be fulfilled through relationship.”

Go ahead, test the hypothesis.  Think of a pure need — sustenance for your wellbeing — and the discovery is relationship with another will be the solution to a problem. The other will be family, friend, neighbor, community, church, and probably even Nature herself.

It is impossible to satiate desire — because, we want what we don’t have.

Furthermore, the higher Power of the universe refuses to give us what we want.

We attract to ourselves the harvest — of what we deserve — from the seeds we have planted. Like attracts like and we receive more of who we already are — until, we decide to change.

Lack will attract scarcity — Richness will attract abundance.

The ultimate question, then, becomes, “Do we want? Or, do we want to — serve?”

www.kimfoardcpa.com

Dance of Equals

Dance of EqualsAt first glance, your thought might have been, “How do eagles dance?”

The eagles might have another word for it. Yet, it’s done in their very own little piece of heaven. That’s what I want for us – to soar like eagles, as equals.

To prepare for a launch into the wild blue yonder, here’s the pre-flight checklist of one question:

“Are you able to intellectually engage in a conversation about a future result that is mutually beneficial and willing to emotionally commit to take action to achieve that result?”

Is that a tough question? Yes, it is.

In fact, the inherent magic of this thought exercise is that there are only two possible answers: Yes, or No.

Are there tender rewards waiting? Yes, there are.

Eagles will lift off to explore the unknown, while Turkeys continue to peck in the dirt.

If you just made an aerial circle to test your wings, congratulations. For those confused and timid souls happy with the way things have always been, please, stop reading, now – before you become completely offended by the Rest of the Story.

Life is a continual series of choices – Yes, or No – This, or That – Left, or Right, at Oak Street 🙂

Since you’re right here, at the tip of my wing, you understand this Universal Principle. For us to be flying, together, we purposefully chose to leave the ground – Off the ground, or On the ground. Choice is ours.

Within this pattern of absolutes, we are either Growing, or we are Decaying. Comfortable fence-sitting is not an option. You know this – I’m preaching to the choir.

And, that opens the vista of where I want to go with a Partner.

I believe in the Promises made by the One who created the playground of heaven, for us. Even beyond the Future fulfillment, we can enjoy heaven on earth – right here, right now.

“Are you able to intellectually engage in a conversation about a future result that is mutually beneficial and willing to emotionally commit to take action to achieve that result?”

A whole new world waits for us — let’s dance!

www.kimfoardcpa.com

One to Five

Five by Five

Let’s start in the middle.

What is the most powerful three letter word in the English language?

YES ran a close second. Yet, it can also be the most dangerous word — if not accompanied by NO.

So, again – standing on its own – what is the most powerful three letter word?

ASK

See how powerful it is? If we need, or want, to know something, we simply ask. By asking, now, you know my opinion.

While you are certainly entitled to your opinion, please, let me share the reason for my belief.

The three letters of ASK are actually an acronym for Ask, Seek, and Knock. If we Ask, we will receive answers. If we Seek, we will find opportunity. If we Knock, doors will swing wide open.

Now, let’s count down, from three, to one.

DO is the most powerful two letter word. In fact, knowing and doing are two entirely different concepts. We can ask to know, which empowers us to act for the benefit of others. Yet, until we do, our knowledge is worthless.

I is the most powerful one letter word. It is the only Individual over which we have absolute control. Beyond our fingertips, any semblance of control ends. For the narcissists among us, this isn’t all about you — there’s the rest of the story.

WORK is the most powerful four letter word. Taking personal responsibility for ourselves is the greatest gift we can offer. Because, only, then, can we share the excess bounty from our efforts with those less fortunate.

SERVE is the most powerful five letter word. Want to be happy? Simply, focus on taking care of the wants and needs of one other person. Want to be, really, happy? Passionately, help enough other people get what they want and we can have everything in life we want.

It Is What It Is —But, It will become what you make It.

I
DO
ASK
WORK
SERVE

From top to bottom, life really is that simple.

By bending a knee in service to all, we will receive everything our heart desires.

www.kimfoardcpa.com

People Over Process

People over Process

Do you want to be a star? Someone who is a sparkling speck of celebrity? Someone who can tip off the stage and be swept around the arena on the hands of raving fans?

Here’s the secret: Always, keep People over Process.

Think about it. Process is created for efficiency. People are created for growth. As soon as an individual grows, the process no longer fits the occasion. The rules must change to reflect the new person.

POP: How many definitions come to mind? A father figure is a POP. There’s snap, crackle, and POP. Maybe it’s the sound at the beginning of a race. Or, it might be the crack of a whip. Sweet to the taste is a soda. Pick your favorite, to remember, People over Process.

How do we build relationships with People? Let’s use just a little bit of Process to break down the word and discover the steps up to the stage of becoming a bonafide PEOPLE star.

Present ~ Be present. When given the opportunity of another person, be with them.

Enlighten ~ Think light. Be bright, lead the way, and most importantly, give warmth.

Open ~ Be vulnerable. Put a little skin in the game and get prepared to be bruised.

Powerful ~ Offer the very best in sacrifice of time and resources for the benefit of others.

Listen ~ Stories are the channels to deeply connect and experience the flow of a soul.

Enjoy ~ The talk and walk are less important than the music and dance. Feel it!

Now, the final question, “Do we need a stage on which to perform?”

Yes, and No.

No, in the sense, that we hone our gift in the garages and basements of life. We work diligently with a select few, out of sight and out of mind, until our talent is ready for presentation to the whole wide world.

Yes, in the sense, that we must be visible to offer our best to the most. We climb high to project our songs to many. Guaranteed – by choice, or fate – each of us will, eventually, tip off of that stage.

And — when we do, we will know whether we have kept People over Process.

There will be the POP of a body hitting the ground, or the POP of fingers keeping time to the chorus of voices from adoring fans, as we are carried in loving arms to a place of safety.

www.kimfoardcpa.com

Emotion Follows Motion

Emotion Follows MotionSo … there you are, wanting to feel in love, and wondering why Prince Charming is not riding in to sweep you off your feet.

For the faint of heart, stop reading, now. For the tough and tender, brace yourself and be prepared to laugh, with me.

First of all, that Prince Charming fellow is a caricature of Fairy Tales. The script is way too predictable: He gallops in on a white steed to save Damsels in distress. Now, really! Are you in distress and in need of saving?

Furthermore, pedestals and ivory towers are dangerous. Those perched high above the common folk were placed there by someone, are useless while up there, and, without help to get down, are stranded. Now, really! Does that sound like fun?

The fun is in the doing and we learn by doing. Let’s have fun learning, together.

Since I grew up in a sea of cowhides, that Prince fellow will need to tighten his cinch. While he continues the dysfunction of slaying Pet Dragons, I practice the Three-E Formula to Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage.

Enlighten ~ If you’re happy in a rut, which is simply a grave with the ends kicked out, I will frustrate the heck out of you. Since we don’t know what we don’t know, I’m constantly asking, “Why?” and, then, “Why, not?!”

Empower ~ If you’re happy being a victim, I will unceasingly tease you. The world is what we make of it; if it doesn’t fit, make alterations. By learning from the stories and experiences of others, I believe in building dreams into reality.

Encourage ~ If you’re happy taking without giving, I will show no mercy. Serving is the foundation on which all other noble traits of character are displayed. Character matters. Doing the right thing can be made easier by the catalyst of a kind word.

Speaking of which, these are the attributes of the Love that I want us to feel: Kindness, Patience, Honesty, Protection, Trust, Hope, and Perseverance. As we DO each of these, we BECOME kind, patient, truthful, courageous, vulnerable, optimistic, and willful in our desire to share Love.

Love begins with Motion and ends in Emotion.

www.kimfoard.com

Stand Right

Stand for what is Right, even if you stand AloneAs a thought experiment, ask a dozen individuals this question: “Which attributes of character are most important to you?”

The people you ask can be your close friends, your worst enemies, or random transients on the street. The odds are very good that nearly every one of them will include with their answer: “Honesty.”

Why, then, do we struggle so much to be honest with ourselves, and others?

One of the greatest statesmen of all times was known by his moniker, “Honest Abe.”

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.”

Abraham Lincoln
American 16th US President (1861-65)

How many times are we tempted to cheat (just a little) to win?

How many times are we tempted to take (just a little) advantage to succeed?

How many times are we tempted to go along to get along (with wrong) to fit in?

That word choice by Abe: bound. Sure feels constraining, limiting, and subservient. Doesn’t it?

Yet, Abraham Lincoln knew true winners set their mind in thought and engage their hands in action to be honest to whom they are at the core: “I am bound to be true.”

Achievers know they are wonderfully made, unique, and one-of-a-kind, with much to offer the whole wide world. They believe, “I am bound to live by the light that I have.”

Yes, I know, easier said than done.

In fact, knowing something and doing it are two, entirely, different things. One is fairly easy; the other is extremely difficult. Actions speak so much louder than words, though. Hard is easy; easy is hard.

What is Right? And, then by antithetical definition, what is Wrong?

One absolute truth is that Right and Wrong cannot be legislated. Every group, clan, civilization, and country sets forth a Code of Ethics. Yet, individuals make choices from their heart and soul.

Please, invest the time to discover the answer to this question, for yourself:
“What is my deepest innermost value?”

Once we identify our (individual) value, we can be true to ourselves and live by our light.

We must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with them while they are right, and part with them when they go wrong.

www.kimfoard.com

Family Center

Family CenterI was headed downtown to enjoy a little lunch, when one small sign on a large, windowless, commercial, brick building, stopped me in my tracks:

Center for Children and Families.

Really?!

In the olden days, that was affectionately known as a Home.

Much more than brick and mortar, love was nurtured there. Around the kitchen table, enjoyment was discovered in meals, games, and conversation. Within the sanctuary of that home, dynamic relationships flourished.

There has been a multi-generational attack on home and family.

Love grows in small homes, not McMansion laboratories.

Lessons spring to life in creative homes, not Propaganda mills.

There is a solution to the dysfunction of a society hammering square pegs into round holes.

How ‘bout we encourage men to engage in their hard-wired desire to provide and women to benefit from that purpose? The expression “barefoot and pregnant” is the jaded attack on a truly liberated woman. From the comfort and warmth of home, she enjoys the freedom to pamper her family.

Pampering is a multifaceted activity. It is not a one-way street of service to others. It is, also, the ability to bask in the purposefully provided time and resources, made available for growth and development, as decided by each woman.

Just let a man come home to the rejuvenation of that loving family environment and his life becomes one of purpose. For the benefit of his family, he is focused on becoming the best dragon-slayer, ever. As a result, the marketplace benefits from his commitment to serve.

By serving all in his sphere of influence, a man with purpose achieves a high level of success in every arena. The rewards of his effort are the resources which will provide opportunity for his family. The circle is complete, as he steps across the threshold into the loving arms anticipating his return home.

That’s the reality.

Home is the center of Children and Families.

Any other building making that claim is, simply, a Counterfeit. Yet, we know the building, itself, did not attach a sign of proclamation; an individual did. With pure intent, that individual, their compatriots, and those many Taxpayers providing the resources, are doing the next best thing.

The best thing for you, me, and all of our families, is for men and women to make every sacrifice to establish real Homes, not centers, for Children and Families.

www.kimfoard.com

Trinity of Choice

Verily, it is almost a religious experience to ask a simple question and to receive a simple answer.

Why is it that so few people know what they want?

Why do they complain about who and where they are?

Why are they reluctant to provide the answers to questions?

Listen carefully to one-hundred individuals and about five of them are happy, content, and at peace with the world. The other ninety-five will be complaining about something. Why?

Happy people take full responsibility for the: Who, What, Where, Why and How of their existence. In fact, they understand their life is the result of every single decision they have ever made.

We get what we allow. If there is something in our life, we put it there. If there is something missing from our life, we have purposefully kept it out. By the selective process of Yes and No, we have made our life, exactly, as it is, or isn’t.

The really whiny individuals of the world will counter with an argument that they didn’t decide. I thank you for the opportunity to state the obvious: A decision to not make a choice is still a decision.

When given the opportunity to choose, we can:

Do the right thing.
Do the wrong thing.
Do nothing.

That’s the trinity of choice. Imagine a fork in the road: Left, Right, or Paralysis. Imagine an elevator: Up, Down, or Stuck. Imagine a simple question: Yes, No, or Maybe. You get the idea.

Do the right thing.
Do the wrong thing.
Do nothing.

Doing the right thing garners inherent rewards.
Doing the wrong thing reveals inherent risks.
Doing nothing does nothing.

Do nothing, be nothing. Do nothing, get nothing. Do nothing, go nowhere. Do nothing, answer nothing. Do nothing, accomplish nothing.

Zero times anything results in a zero-sum game. Life is so much more fun when seasoned with the Rewards and Risks of action.

When facing a choice, make it.

Do something, even, if it’s the wrong thing.

Better, yet, do the right thing!

www.kimfoard.com

Authentic Hero

Authentic HeroFrom time in memorial, humans have been in search of a Super Hero.

You know: That omnipotent character, who can answer every question; the mighty one, who can save the day and those weaker souls among us. (Heck, even we tough guys welcome a little time off from the daily struggles.)

In a political season, there are at least a couple of candidates proclaiming to be the solution to every problem. Flip a coin, pick the winner, and what you have is an individual just like you, and me, and a few billion other people: just, another regular person.

If there are no, real-life, Super Heroes, what are we to do? Give up? Tremble in fear? Trudge through each day with resignation and despair?

The simple answer is, “No.”

You, my friend, have everything required to be an Authentic Hero. Authentic trumps Super every time, because Super is a figment of the imagination, while Authentic is the heart and soul of greatness.

Okay, I realize some are reluctant to believe. So, let’s start with the undeniable. A comes before S in the English alphabet. Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes. Let’s take a look at what makes an Authentic Hero.

They are big believers in the KISS Principle: Keep It Simple Sweetheart. As a result, the character attributes of the Authentic Hero are: Desire, Humility, and Courage.

Desire

Authentic Heroes have The-Want-To. They know that all we do begins with a thought. By guarding their hearts, positive thoughts are captured and nurtured into plans of action. With diligent preparation, those plans — one at a time — are implemented with precision.

Humility

Authentic Heroes, on bended knee, seek engagement to build mutually beneficial relationships. Theirs is an attitude of service for the greater good of all. They know that the joy of life is discovered in the Doing. Their purpose is to Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage.

Courage

Authentic Heroes accept the creed that there is no greater love than to give their life, so others might live more abundantly. They boldly face each day, knowing full well mistakes will be made. Criticism is accepted as a badge of honor for the lessons learned.

Long after the Super narrative of the narcissist is forgotten, the life of the hero offered in Authentic sacrifice will be remembered, forever.

www.kimfoard.com

Leadership

Money does not a leadership problem fix.

In fact, a problem is simply an opportunity in disguise.

We grow — when confronted with the impossible. It is that defining moment of decision. Many will quit. A few will do what others say can’t be done.

Leaders will accomplish what has never been attempted, before.

Those who do are the leaders among us. Those who talk are not necessarily the followers. Talk is cheap and those who blather, generally, complain about all of their problems. Unknowingly and unwittingly, they are complaining about themselves.

For the entirety of human existence, accumulation of wealth has been the measure of empires. The Golden Rule has been disenfranchised into a barbaric slogan, “Those who have the Gold make the Rules.”

Rules and regulations do not an Empire make. In fact, Empires come and go — because, their leaders abdicate the responsibility to set an example. We, the People, learn by doing.

Leadership is not a cult-like mission of forcing others into compliance. Leadership is a deep-felt passion of guiding everyone to the best individual choices.

Say what?! Doesn’t a leader, by default, need followers?

For a moment, forget about following and let’s focus on leading. Leaders believe in the power of one. They understand life is best experienced from the inside, out. They are true to themselves, by constantly improving the character at their core.

Leaders make absolutely sure they have much to give. What they offer to the whole wide world is the Three-E Formula to Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage.

Enlighten

We don’t know what we don’t know. Leaders share the best of what they have learned with all who are accepting. The story of their journey is the inspiration for broadened horizons and myriad options of choice. Leaders communicate the saga and color that vision of abundance with broad strokes and vivid detail.

Empower

Knowing what to do and doing it are two, entirely, different things. Leaders offer the tools to build something special. We all want and need something different. Leaders are the ultimate teachers through explanation and demonstration, then asking for imitation, offering correction, and expecting repetition.

Encourage

The best teachers have humbly learned from the School of Hard Knocks. They can share many lessons learned the hard way and know, for an absolute fact, their Students need a few of the same experiences. Leaders patiently wait for new lessons to be learned, all the while supporting that effort.

True leaders always have a following. Hundreds, maybe even many thousands, are watching the silent example of their heroes. Actions speak so much louder than words. A life of character, generously offered to others — through consistent choices to build mutually beneficial dynamic relationships — is the legacy of leaders.

The choice is free, for us to make.

The results are priceless, for future generations.

Let’s accept the challenge of leadership.

www.kimfoard.com