Dance of Equals

Dance of EqualsAt first glance, your thought might have been, “How do eagles dance?”

The eagles might have another word for it. Yet, it’s done in their very own little piece of heaven. That’s what I want for us – to soar like eagles, as equals.

To prepare for a launch into the wild blue yonder, here’s the pre-flight checklist of one question:

“Are you able to intellectually engage in a conversation about a future result that is mutually beneficial and willing to emotionally commit to take action to achieve that result?”

Is that a tough question? Yes, it is.

In fact, the inherent magic of this thought exercise is that there are only two possible answers: Yes, or No.

Are there tender rewards waiting? Yes, there are.

Eagles will lift off to explore the unknown, while Turkeys continue to peck in the dirt.

If you just made an aerial circle to test your wings, congratulations. For those confused and timid souls happy with the way things have always been, please, stop reading, now – before you become completely offended by the Rest of the Story.

Life is a continual series of choices – Yes, or No – This, or That – Left, or Right, at Oak Street 🙂

Since you’re right here, at the tip of my wing, you understand this Universal Principle. For us to be flying, together, we purposefully chose to leave the ground – Off the ground, or On the ground. Choice is ours.

Within this pattern of absolutes, we are either Growing, or we are Decaying. Comfortable fence-sitting is not an option. You know this – I’m preaching to the choir.

And, that opens the vista of where I want to go with a Partner.

I believe in the Promises made by the One who created the playground of heaven, for us. Even beyond the Future fulfillment, we can enjoy heaven on earth – right here, right now.

“Are you able to intellectually engage in a conversation about a future result that is mutually beneficial and willing to emotionally commit to take action to achieve that result?”

A whole new world waits for us — let’s dance!

www.kimfoardcpa.com

Peace of Mind

Peace of MindThis narrative is quite different from the experience of hearing an antagonist exclaim, “Let me give you a piece of my mind!”

In fact, this is the greatest gift we can give ourselves – peace of mind.

The funny thing about this gift is that it comes as a result of what we don’t think about.

If our thoughts are about the Past, we’ll find regrets there. If we let our minds sneak into the Future, we’ll meet anxiety of the unknown. Right here, right now – in the Present – it’s great to be alive.

If someone asks us to not think about pink elephants, what do we do? We think about pink elephants. So, let’s eliminate the negatives. We can, simply, remove the word “not” and its contractions from our vocabulary.

Mother Nature hates a vacuum. Plant good seeds or weeds will grow. We remove the habit of dwelling on the regrets of the Past and stressing about the anxieties of the Future, by focusing on the Present.

Mindfulness is the fancy term for living in the moment.

Seems kind of silly to, even, state the obvious – in the blink of an eye, this moment will be history and there are no guarantees that we will take the next breath.

There is a guarantee, though, that we can enjoy each and every moment, if we embrace a Code.

Say what?! You know, in the words of John Wayne, “A man’s got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job.”

Whatever the Code, it keeps us focused on living up to those standards. Every thought, every decision, and every action is measured against the Code. Our mind is fully engaged, in each and every moment, to living in the Present.

Since our minds are optimized to remember Three, here are three examples of Codes important to these individuals:

Code of the West (James P. Owen)

1. Live each day with courage.
2. Take pride in your work.
3. Always finish what you start.
4. Do what has to be done.
5. Be tough, but fair.
6. When you make a promise, keep it.
7. Ride for the brand.
8. Talk less and say more.
9. Remember that some things aren’t for sale.
10. Know where to draw the line.

Two Sets of Three (John Wooden)

1. Never lie.
2. Never cheat.
3. Never steal.

1. Don’t whine.
2. Don’t complain.
3. Don’t make excuses.

Decisions for Success (Andy Andrews)

1. The buck stops here. I am responsible for my past and my future.
2. I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others.
3. I am a person of action. I seize this moment. I choose now.
4. I have a decided heart. My destiny is assured.
5. Today I will choose to be happy. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit.
6. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself.
7. I will persist without exception. I am a person of great faith.

We can admire the Codes, above, for their inherent qualities of character. Yet, knowing something and doing it are two, very, different engagements. To move from understanding to belief requires insight – literally, a look inside of who we are, individually, and all alone.

A daily practice of the ABC’s (Attitude, Boundaries, and Commitment) can enlighten, empower, and encourage each of us to develop and implement our own, personal, Code.

Attitude ~ Which attributes of Character are most important to me?

All we do begins with a thought. To build, we need a blueprint – a plan – to guide our actions. A positive approach to each step will result in positive creations.

Boundaries ~ How can I ensure dynamic Communication?

As soon as we define who we are and what we believe, our friends will encourage and our enemies will challenge. “Yes, please.” and “No, thanks.” are effective gatekeepers.

Commitment ~ What is the passion at the core of my Commitments?

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. Heaven on earth is possible, if we are determined to take the next step, forward.

By choosing a mindfulness to live with purpose and create a legacy built on a foundation of principle, the result is goodness for all and peace of mind for each one of us.

www.kimfoardcpa.com

Straight Talk

Straight Talk

How many times last week did someone tell you one thing and, then, did something entirely different?

Have you ever made plans with someone, who at the last minute changed their mind and did not participate?

Why is it essential to say what we believe and believe what we say?

Reputation is what others think about us. Character is who we truly are — at the core. Sterling qualities of these attributes are nurtured into existence as a result of consistency in word and deed.

John Wooden in his book, The Wisdom of Wooden, shares with us what his father shared with him.

Two Sets of Three

1.) Never lie.
2.) Never cheat.
3.) Never steal.

1.) Don’t whine.
2.) Don’t complain.
3.) Don’t make excuses.

Words, if inconsistent with actions, are blatantly misleading. Recipients of this deceit are cheated out of belief. The most precious of resources — Time — is stolen.

As a result, the cover-up is camouflaged with a combination of whining, complaining, and excuse making.

Take a few moments to imagine a world in which individuals are careful with their commitments.

By default, commitment is entirely void of one word: Maybe.

In fact, commitment is either: This, or That.

Just say a simple, “Yes, I will.” Or, “No, I won’t.”

Then, after giving our word, one way, or the other, just, “Do it.”

The only downside risk of doing what we say is that the Drama Kings and Queens will need to find another venue for their acting. Theatre can be a pleasant diversion from reality. Honesty in thought and action is a perquisite for building trust and respect.

Straight talk and a straight walk lead straight to dynamic relationships!

www.kimfoard.com

Three To Be

Three To BeFor every ending, there is a new beginning.

Leading the way into a bigger word is a little one: Be.

See it?

Be-ginning!

Shakespeare asked the questions, “To be; or, not to be?”

There, really, isn’t a question of our existence. The answer is in the exploration of what it is, “To Be.”

Sterling Character

Yes, the adjective is subjective. Nobody wakes in the morning to believe their character is bad. Yet, do we wake to the Wooden Creed? “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”

Again, some might want to argue that “best” is subjective. It is, if we compare ourselves to others; It is not, if we judge ourselves to a higher standard. Through all of civilization, there have been Codes of Conduct. The best of them are simply a map to guide us in The Journey to the highest quality of life.

Passionate Commitment

Knowing something and doing it are two, entirely, different concepts. In fact, choosing one and forgoing the many is the purest definition of commitment. Contempt for failure and death is another measure of being, all in; Or, all out, if we consider the example of the skydiver.

At the moment of jumping from a perfectly good airplane, the skydiver is committed to reaching the ground. They have two choices: Dead, or Alive. In other words, if they have a passion for life, their entire focus is on a successful landing.

Dynamic Communication

Before babies can say a single word, they are effective communicators. By facial expression, tone of voice and body language, they command attention. They know what they want and how to ASK for it. Why are so many adults dysfunctional? They stopped learning. Literally, the answer is that simple.

We are either growing; or, we are dying. Entropy is the natural physical condition. There is a higher realm, which requires pushing beyond the resistance of what “Is”, to what can “Be.” All we do begins with a thought. We learn by doing. The fun is in the doing. Let’s have fun learning!

In the course of a lifetime, people will come and people will go. There are chance encounters, whereby strangers become friends. There are diabolical missions of deceit, whereby wolves appear to be sheep. In between, are all the other opportunities for new relationships.

There is a season for all things. Remember, though, there is only one YOU. You are a unique creation, no better than any other; yet, just as good as all the others.

As others seek a relationship, begin with the end in mind: Sterling Character, Passionate Commitment, and Dynamic Communication.

Three To Be: Free.

www.kimfoard.com

Anatomy of a Victor

Anatomy of a VictorTwo words, six letters each, exactly opposite in meaning and world view: Victim and Victor.

All individuals on the face of the earth are in one camp, or the other. There is no DMZ, or middle ground.

Every person has made a choice to be, exactly, where they find themselves at this very moment.

Why?

We all have a story to tell.
And, we do tell it so well.

This last week was interesting. Personally, I was engaged in a battle for the future. Right in the middle of the whole dang show was lunch with someone, who is victim, wouldn’t you know; anchored to the past, miserable in the present, and morose about the future.

Why?

Since fire-breathing dragon stories are more interesting than melancholy tirades, this is my story about conquest and victory.

After a year of experimenting with secure Client File Portals for the mutual benefit of my stakeholders, there was an increasing uneasiness about the Hosting Service that I had chosen. The portals were fully functional, my Clients were successfully using them, and I was comfortable in the routine.

(Alert; possible misspelling of routine. Maybe, r-u-t? And, the definition of rut: a grave with the ends kicked out.)

Real danger? Or, just the ever vigilant, vivid, imagination of a Warrior?

All we do begins with a thought.

I was thinking, “There must be a better way.”

In fact, each day, each of us has a choice: Grow, or Die. There is no DMZ, or middle ground.

I was ready to move forward.

One of the many benefits of a Client File Portal, this personal vault in The Clouds, is 24/7 access to digital Documents and the ability to provide copies of files to those stakeholders with a vested interest in building mutually beneficial dynamic relationships.

The only constant in life is change. Over the last twelve months, ShareFile has become a robust service provider of file sharing and portals. By clicking on the hyperlink above, access to their website provides a better understanding of features and support.

Ready and Committed are two, very, different things. Although ready, I was not, yet, committed to move forward. This is the introduction to the next important step on our journey to victory. We need to properly plan and meticulously prepare.

Thought without action is as worthless as a dream without a plan; a blueprint, if you will. Researching viable options and studying the technological landscape was the primary focus in my quest for a better way, and a better Client File Portal.

This is the time in every dragon-slaying story where the weak may want to seek protection. The battle scenes are for mature audiences, only. The most fertile ground and coveted piece of real estate is between our ears. That’s where this war was being waged.

I had invested a year of my life establishing functional, yet primitive, Client File Portals for my stakeholders. I wanted to enjoy the dividends from that investment. What would everyone think, if I changed my mind? And, therein was the answer: Moving forward was the right thing to do.

Yet, the enemy persisted. The cost of the old way was less than the price of the new, uncertain, and unknown future way. What if I failed, again? And, therein was the answer: Failure in my earlier choice had resulted in a valuable education and experience.

That darn dragon refused to go down! He charged at me, again. This time, he plucked at the heart-strings, by camouflaging his attack with my favorite words, “Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.”

That monster of a dragon was about to die.

Deep within the heart of every victor is a burning desire, to serve. They have asked this question of themselves, “What is the passion at the core of everything I do?”

Picture a vibrant, radiant, pulsating, source of energy within the Warrior. The mechanical, physical, heart is warmly surrounded by a glowing and dynamic membrane of higher power. Love is one name given to the unexplainable; it is a powerful force for doing good.

My love of those I serve was the strength behind the final thrust of my sword into the beast.

I was committed to move forward.

Until one is committed,
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
Always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
There is one elementary truth,
The ignorance of which kills countless ideas
And splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
Then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
That would not otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
Raising in one’s favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material assistance,
Which no person could have dreamt
Would have come their way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.
Begin it now.”

—W. H. Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

Although illuminated by the warm glow of first love, the beginning of anything is ugly. For builders, it’s the serious business of excavating a hole in the ground and the hard work of pouring a solid foundation. In the realm of technology, it’s the learning of a new foreign language and carefully navigating into uncharted domains.

Although encouraged by early results, the middle of anything is a slog. Begin, and begin again; one step in front of the other. The safe shore of our launch has long passed from view and the destination is many days away. One Client File Portal after another will be established and made available to those I serve, the best Clients and Friends, those who give so much to me.

Sometime, in the near future, a celebration beckons. All of the new vaults in The Clouds will be available as another mutually beneficial tool, with which to build dynamic relationships. The victory will be a time of jubilee, because it will provide the opportunity for other new beginnings; yet, unseen.

In stark contrast to the jubilation of the victor was the sullenness of my lunch-time partner, The Victim. The story I heard was one of the entire world using and abusing them. Granted, the hand of fate deals its nasty blows to all of us, from time to time. Curious, though, I asked, “Where were you; and, what were you thinking and doing through all of this?”

The victim’s response (paraphrased), “I was right there playing the role of saintly martyr.” Seemed fitting for me to say, “We get what we allow.” Lunch was over.

Waiting for me, on the other side of the battle with my fire-breathing dragon, were two, new, wonderful relationships.

On my left side is Christopher Doll, a ShareFile sales executive, who graciously accepted my offer to make a GoToAssist remote connection with him. We played, we laughed, and I purchased. On my right side is Kelley Figg, a ShareFile account manager, extraordinaire; she is patient beyond belief, generous at the core, and a caring professional.

Two words, six letters each, exactly opposite in meaning and world view: Victim and Victor. All individuals on the face of the earth are in one camp, or the other. There is no DMZ, or middle ground. Each person makes a choice to be, exactly, where they find themselves at this very moment.

As for me, I choose victory!

www.kimfoard.com

Cornerstones

Cornerstones

What are the four attributes of every mutually beneficial dynamic relationship?

Relationships with those people we like are the most enjoyable. Yet, think of the relationships we also have with those less friendly. Think about every dynamic relationship.

In fact, think about this: we either have a relationship with someone; or, we don’t. There is no maybe to it.

So, what are the four attributes of every dynamic relationship?

The secret is in the adjective: dynamic.

  • Of or relating to energy or to objects in motion
  • Characterized by continuous change, activity, or progress
  • Marked by intensity and vigor; forceful
  • Of or relating to variation
  • An interactive system or process
  • A force
  • Characterized by personality, ambition, energy, new ideas
  • Expressing action rather than a state of being; not static

Relationships are mutually chosen. In other words, it is a bond between two individuals, who mutually choose to connect. It is of freewill and unlimited in potential.

These are the Cornerstones:

  • Core
  • Courtesy
  • Commitment
  • Communication

Core

Before we waltz out to establish a relationship with another person, it is imperative to know what is at the center of the individual. Not the other person; ourselves. Not in the plural sense. Singularly: Who am I? What do I believe? Why? When will my world view be challenged? How did I get to this point in my journey? Where am I going?

Courtesy

Once thought to be “common,” a simple Please and Thank You open the doors for Trust and Respect. Joining them are the character traits of Patience, Kindness, Truthfulness, Protectiveness, Hopefulness, and Perseverance. By simply caring about another person, we find the right, just, and fair things to say and do.

Commitment

Life is a series of ups and downs. Some days we’re the windshield; some days we’re the bug. Yet, through it all, we have the choice to be happy, or sad; pleasant, or rude; optimistic, or pessimistic; engaged, or disconnected; flexible, or rigid; open, or closed. The ultimate choice is whether we can be true to ourselves and definitive in expressing, “I will.”

Communication

Talk to me; let me listen; then, accept my thoughts. Three phases to each exchange: Transmission, Reception, and Feedback. We all love to talk. Listening requires discipline. Feedback can only be done with the courage to be vulnerable. Communication is what the listener does. Please, hear and understand me. Simply, share you to be heard and understood.

If a structure is designed to have four supports, each must be solid and relatively equal in substance. Think of the last time you sat on a chair with one leg shorter than the others. You wobbled. If that weak leg is substantially defective, a crash is imminent.

Four at the corners is the foundation for a mutually fun, beneficial, chosen, dynamic relationship. By building on these cornerstones, we can select and nurture relationships, which exemplify energy, motion, change, activity, progress, intensity, vigor, variation, personality, ambition, and new ideas.

A force to make a difference in the lives of two, and many more!

www.kimfoard.com

School of Thought

Creative BrainAsking the right Question is much more important than having all of the right Answers.

At one time in the recent past, the Question: “What is found at the end of freight trains?” was deserving of the Answer: “Caboose”.

For one generation, that fond memory is now an antique safely archived in Railroad museums.

For our current, high-tech, digital generation, the Text message of curiosity to their friends to ask for an explanation might be in the form of “Cab—what???”

Question: Why, then, do our formal programs of education test for a finite answer to a limited set of questions?

Answer: It is big business to sell the dysfunctional idea that one person has the answer to another’s question.

As a result, we have several generations of gifted and talented individuals waiting to receive guidance for their lives from a clueless academia. No one has the right answers for anyone, else. At best, our educators might be brave enough to explore what is right for one person, themselves.

It is the height of arrogance for anyone to believe they have all of the answers. The most important facets of life cannot be explained by mere mortals. The answers discovered, today, for yesterday’s questions are guaranteed to be wrong for the new opportunities of tomorrow.

Since we learn by doing and the fun is in the doing, let’s focus on having fun as we learn. The journey to the choice of our individual destinations begins, right here, right now.

In fact, the secret to asking Questions is inherent in the discipline to practice the ABC‘s.

Attitude:  Whether we think we can, or can’t, we’re right. As a creative genius with an 8th Grade formal education, my Dad believed: “If a man made it, I can fix it.” And, he did. Time, after time, he accomplished the impossible.

Boundaries: Those are the fine lines defining our growth, to date. They are the demarcation between where we end and another begins. Self-respect runs unabated within; Respect is generously offered to those without. Mutually beneficial transactions occur at the border.

Commitment: Choosing one and foregoing all others is the first step to moving forward. Forsaking the un-chosen focuses all energy on the, one, most important, choice. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

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In our human condition, we will make MISTAKEs. This is the ultimate Question: aM I Seeking To Ask (and) Knock Effectively? Intelligent people are always ready to learn; their ears are open for Knowledge. To acquire Wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish Understanding will prosper.

Life is simply an exercise in practice techniques: Amateurs practice until they get it right; Masters practice until they can’t get it wrong.

All we do begins with a, creative, thought!

www.kimfoard.com

Between the Ears

Palomino HorseClose your eyes and imagine a beautiful horse. Before you do, though, prepare your mind for this action: Imagine yourself walking up to that horse.

OK, now, do it.

Whenever you choose to rejoin us, you will have a story to tell about the trip that you just took:  Color of horse; stallion, gelding, or mare; how many hands high; location of the stables; and, season of the year. Priceless!

With the image and story in your mind, please, tell me: To which part of the horse did you approach?

The odds are good that you walked up to its head. You wanted to feel the warm breath from the nostrils and tickle of the whiskers, as you received a nuzzle and a nip from the lips of your horse expressing its affection for you. Then, you might have returned the love by reaching up to rub and scratch between its ears. The session probably ended with a head pressed against your chest and arms wrapped around a neck, in hugs.

More than a love story, this one is headed for destiny.

As a Certified Public Accountant and builder of bright financial futures, any planning for success involves a consideration for income taxes. Some people become so obsessed with them (Taxes), an appropriate encouragement is: “Never let the tax tail wag the dog!”

The reason you didn’t walk up to the rear of your dream horse is because of the same thought process used when I tease Clients into re-focusing their attention, from the tail, to the body of the dog: Rear-ends are dangerous.

Think about these two scenarios: The best relationship and the greatest professional success. I guarantee that both of them required planning, preparation, rich conversation, time investment and a dynamic commitment to flexibility; all done on the front side, with no “end” in sight.

The choice is ours: We can either manage from the front; or, clean up the mess at the rear.

Consider this: When driving, what are the odds of success if we focus on the rear-view mirror? Isn’t the trip much more fun looking, forward, through the front windows?

One letter is the difference between “ears” and “rears”: R

To honor the simplicity of the Text Generation: “R U Thinking?!”

Or, do you only see the “R U T” and believe that you’re stuck, in a rut?

Seriously, that’s the difference between leaders and lemmings: Thinking. Trailblazers are always dreaming and focusing on what is ahead (pardon the pun). Crowds are always content to follow behind. Unless you’re lead dog, the view never changes.

Lest there are some who believe Lead Dog is out of their reach, please, (R U Thinking?) consider that there is only one of you. YOU are unique in all of the specimens of humanity. Your special gifts of insight and ability do make a difference in the lives of all you touch.

Good, better, best.
Never let it rest;
Until, our good is better,
And, our better, best!

All we do begins with a thought.

The secret to pleasant relationships and successful adventures is discovered between our ears!

www.kimfoard.com

Offer & Acceptance

Offer & Acceptance

A friend remarked, “Ninety-plus percent of intimate personal relationships are based on nothing more than business transactions.”

At the time, I found her comment distasteful. Since then, I have taken off the rose-colored glasses and actually seen how couples behave in their relationships. Increasingly, I have noticed more of the quid pro quo inherent within what many fantasize to be a loving relationship.

As I listen closely to their words, the intent of their heart is expressed, “Yes, he is the leader of our family, because I say so.”

What?!

Recently, I have been able to weave the last few years of observation into a theorem, which proves my friend wrong in prognosis. The vast majority of personal relationships aren’t based on business principles. In fact, they don’t, even, rise to that level of common courtesies.

For those desirous of building dynamic relationships, consider this:

Give our Best
Pause to Rest

Guaranteed, this article is multifaceted. It will thoroughly thrill and consciously chill, you, with a wonderful blend of logic and emotion.

From the annals of history comes an accepted parable of wisdom, “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?”

The simple answer is: No.

By default, then, for two people to walk together, or do anything together, they must be in agreement.

The de minimis requirement for a valid business contract is agreement.

Contract law is based on the principle expressed in the Latin phrase pacta sunt servanda, which is usually translated “agreements to be kept” but more literally means “pacts must be kept”.

As a means of economic ordering, contract relies on the notion of consensual exchange and has been extensively discussed in broader economic, sociological, and anthropological terms. In American English, the term extends beyond the legal meaning to encompass a broader category of agreements.

Common Law jurisdictions recognize a high degree of freedom to contract, with the parties largely at liberty to set their own terms. In other words: Freedom of will to choose what is right for the individual. There is, only, one person who knows what that is: the individual.

The elements of a contract are mutual assent and consideration.

Mutual Assent

Mutual assent is typically reached through offer and acceptance; in other words, when an offer is met with an acceptance that is unqualified and does not change any of the terms. The result is a concurrence of wills or ad idem (meeting of the minds).

Consideration

Consideration is something of value given by a promissor to a promisee in exchange for something of value given by a promisee to a promissor. Typically, the thing of value is an act, or a forbearance to act when one is privileged to do so. The purpose of consideration is to ensure that there is a present bargain, that the promises of the parties are reciprocally induced.

In most systems of law, parties have freedom to choose whether or not they wish to enter into a contract, absent superseding duties. In American law, one early case exemplifying this proposition is Hurley v. Eddingfield (1901), in which the Supreme Court of Indiana ruled in favor of a physician who voluntarily decided not to help a patient whom the physician had treated on past occasions, despite the lack of other available medical assistance and the patient’s subsequent death.

Such a simple concept: Freedom to Choose.

We think nothing of claiming the right for ourselves. Do we graciously extend the same right to others? Or, do we make an offer and accept it for them? Laughable?!

Consider the last time you did something nice for another person and they rejected it. What was your reaction? Offended? Thinking, “How dare they?!” Here is the issue: Your definition of nice may not be the same as theirs.

The root of dysfunction in any relationship is the bad belief that we know what is best for another person. It is Our Bad to believe another person could, should, would (all of the ‘ould words denote an aura of judgment) accept what we are offering. That belief is bad, not the individual who says, “No, thanks.”

Give our Best
Pause to Rest

Let’s take a look at the ABC’s of building dynamic relationships.

Attitude

The foundation for success is an attitude of service to others.

Offer to fulfill a need, satisfy a desire, or fix a problem and a relationship is possible. This initial effort to give value begins the circular motion for acceptance to be received.

The sphere of benefit and influence will grow relative to the effectiveness of our communication. Crystal clear transmissions, static free receptions and a dedicated channel of feedback produce a synergy of unlimited potential.

Knowledge, wisdom and understanding are required as a prerequisite to valuable exchanges. We learn, grow and dream by focusing on Facts of the Past, Choices in the Present, and Vision for the Future.

Purpose in life is discovered by acknowledging a power greater than ourselves; delivery of value is possible by being a conduit for timeless and priceless gifts.

The greatest gift is a chosen, purposeful effort, often done in the face of fear, to nurture our own growth and the growth of others!

Boundaries

The walls of success are plumb and square because of a clear definition of ourselves and an understanding of others.

Until we clearly define and communicate what we want for the present and future, it is futile and even dangerous to pursue long-term relationships. Our individual commitment to a course of action is necessary before others can offer to help.

Definitive expectations allow another individual to make a judgment for themselves if they are able and willing to be a complement. We each have the right to say no to anyone, anytime, anyplace and for any reason.

Respect is only possible with clearly defined boundaries. The sovereignty of a country is defined by its border. As individuals, we are citizens of one.

Self-respect is everything that goes on within our boundaries. Respect for others happens at the border and according to mutually acceptable customs.

Profitable interactions occur through doors of opportunity that swing on the hinges of “No, thanks.” and “Yes, please!”

Commitment

The crowning glory of success is the courage to always do the right thing.

Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
Always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
There is one elementary truth,
The ignorance of which kills countless ideas
And splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
Then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
That would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision
Raising in one’s favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material assistance,
Which no person could have dreamt
Would have come their way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

In the great state of Montana, we have an expression and tradition: “Good fences make for good neighbors.”

Those fences mark the boundary edges of ownership. They are the fine lines of distinction between what is mine and what is yours.

Now, consider the title of this article: Offer & Acceptance.

That little “&” sign is the difference between a healthy, vibrant, dynamic relationship and one that is dysfunctional. It is representative of a Montana fence and the fine lines we walk in life.

On the one side is my right to Offer; on the other is your right to Accept, or not. Depending on what I’m offering, your answer will be, either: “No, thanks.” Or, “Yes, please!”

One, or the other. Moment by moment; step by step; offer by acceptance: we choose to walk together, or not. One is not better than the other. What is important, though, is that we have an honest relationship.

Two mature individuals deciding what is best for ourselves, communicating that boldly and clearly, while mutually giving our best, and the freedom to choose, to our partner.

Give our Best
Pause to Rest

www.kimfoard.com

Let Go & Hold On

Let Go & Hold On

To some, letting go is synonymous with giving up. It is not! In fact, letting go is the only way to leave the Old and embrace the New.

The O at the end of Let Go is a reminder of the Old. The N at the end of Hold On is the focus of efforts to achieve the New.

The best definition of forgiveness was received in a place far removed from a religious setting. Yet, it personifies the journey of sacrifice and redemption: “Let go of the notion that there can be a better, or different, yesterday.”

Human nature is comfortable in the ruts worn deep by habit. So many times, the dysfunction of the known is chosen over the uncertainty of the unknown. When the realized pain of the Present exceeds the imagined discomfort of the Future, we change.

The purest definition of insanity is: “Doing the old habit and expecting a new result.” Change is, only, possible when we purposefully leave the Old actions and warmly embrace the New thoughts. Why is it, then, that so many want to drag the Past along, like a ball and chain?

For the sake of discussion, consider the dynamics of walking. To take the next step forward, we must lose our balance from where we have been and catch our balance at the present spot, while focusing on where we want to go. We learned to do that before our earliest memories. Now, that we are older, we tend to forget that simple philosophy.

Balance in our stride is achieved by understanding: “Discretion is the better part of valor.”

While commitment is necessary to Let Go, courage is required to Hold On. The lessons learned are important; the uniqueness of who we are is irreplaceable; and, the value that we offer to the world is priceless. Individually, we have the responsibility to preserve our integrity and defend the core of our character.

To move from where we are, we must know why we are leaving and what we want for the future. Many are those who are running away from their past. Problem is: they have no idea of a destination for the future. They are easy to spot and best to avoid; because, they are going in circles. Join them and dizziness awaits.

In summary, imagine your favorite Road Trip. Do you enjoy it by staring in the rearview mirror? Or, do you soak up the goodness of what is filling the windshield, each and every moment? Rhetorical questions, I know. We focus our eyes forward, with a glance behind.

We enjoy the trip because we Let Go of the miles behind and, as the Captain of our ship, we are happy to Hold On to the possibilities of what might be around the next curve!

www.kimfoard.com