What Is

The Wind In Our Sails“I am amused that you continue to ask for me to explain — what is not and never was.”

That was my response to an attorney, who wanted me to explain the unexplainable. He had taken a course of action, which transformed the simple into the complex. In fact, the potential exists that he has endangered a Family by encouraging them to, unintentionally, break the law.

How often do we fall into the trap of letting our thoughts and energies be consumed by the not of what is?

In other words, how much of our day is wasted by thinking about what is behind us — or, what is outside of our control? That’s the purest and craziest definition of — what is not and never was.

If we’re standing in the light of what is right, there is absolutely no reason to explain the darkness of another person’s wrong. To do so changes our thinking from, what is — to, what is not.

This is what is:

1.) Law provides order to what otherwise results in chaos. Every structure of dynamic goodness functions within the parameters of principle.

2.) Activities of growth and purpose occur in the Present — moment to moment — because of a thoughtful plan for the Future.

3.) We are Captains of our own Destiny, who sail the seas of the unknown and find our greatest happiness in the Journey of enriching the lives we touch.

That’s plenty to keep us busy.

Understanding the core principles of right and wrong is one thing. Living a life of principle is another. Sometimes, we do what we know not and, then, forget to do what we know. Eventually, we sync knowledge with action, to discover a higher dimension — of thought and being.

Focusing our attention on one thing at a time can best be remembered with this mantra — “Whatever our hands find to do, let’s do it with our might.” And — if those efforts are constant and consistent with a purposeful plan, the result will be a reality of our dreams.

Believing in a future beyond our imaginations unshackles us from the safe harbor of what is known. In fact, belief in a Higher Power becomes the wind in our sails. As with all destinations, Ports of Call come and go. What endures, forever, are the impressions made on the souls aboard — and, beyond.

Forget about the small minds chained to the chaos of — what is not and never was.

Remember the power of Understanding, Focusing, and Believing in — What Is.

www.kimfoardcpa.com

Education and Experience

Dream RulesBorn with an innate sense of curiosity, I have always wanted to know: “Why?”

It didn’t take long to discover that parents, teachers and friends were wearied by an endless barrage of questions. In fact, discovery was made that they didn’t have the answers to many of my questions!

Then, in about the sixth grade, a treasure trove of information was found: A Library. Books galore, each with a story to tell, chock full of knowledge, wisdom and understanding. An education was just waiting for me.

As time marched forward, I learned much from the stories of others. It was one of those “Good News; Bad News” storylines. The Good News: I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel for each excursion into a new frontier. The Bad News: The view only changes for the lead dog.

Moral of all Stories: We can learn from others all that they know, and no more.

Unless we want to follow others, forever, there is a point of departure from the known, into the unknown. In fact, we can never duplicate the experience of another by listening to the stories of how they did something.

We are unique; our experiences will be, too.

Once our formal education ends, the real learning begins. The process is aptly referred to as the “School of Hard Knocks”. There are plenty of assignments, pop quizzes, final exams, and lessons to be learned. We choose the curriculum and face the consequences of our choices.

As our eyes are opened to Universal Principles, we quickly learn that there is a “right way”: a way that is right for us, individually. That way is different for each of us and can only be learned by courageously taking the steps along our, individual, journey of life.

No one else can do it for us. All of the stories from other people are of limited value. This is our life; we are Trailblazers. There are no maps for territories yet to be discovered.

Upon our return from the wilderness, we have stories to tell, an education to share.

The cycle repeats. Young people receive a glimpse into the world that waits. Soon, they leave the stories behind to do it, Their Way, and then learn: Good judgment comes from experience; Experience comes from bad judgment.

Over the course of our individual journeys, we learn that it takes both: Education and Experience.

Rules Kids Won’t Learn In School

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2: The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it’s not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait ’til you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It’s not your parents’ fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of “It’s my life,” and “You’re not the boss of me,” and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it’s on your dime. Don’t whine about it, or you’ll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t. In some schools, they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone’s feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we’re at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

www.kimfoard.com

Distinguished

Distinguished

Last week, a woman said to me, “I’m open to anything.”

The week before, a woman commented, “I’m all caved up.”

As a man and subject to the impulses of the visual creatures that we are, naturally, the image of Open messed with my mind more so than Closed. As a gentleman and wanting to maintain the PG-rating of this forum, that runaway thought was quickly corralled into the larger issue: Sieves and Stones.

Questions: How far will someone go who is open to anything? How captive is someone who is all caved up?

Answer: Only, they know.

The common thread between the two is that neither has taken the time and energy to discover who they, really, are, or what they want for their lives. It’s so much easier to let someone else make the decisions for them and then be disappointed when things don’t go as fantasized.

Although the phrases were spoken by different women at different times, they are actually the spectrum of dysfunction. Let’s take a look at the combined effect and (unspoken) reality: “I’m open to anything (as long as you keep me happy). (If you misbehave and hurt me) I’m all caved up.”

On one side of the spectrum is an individual with Sieves for boundaries; everything pours through. On the other side of that stormy rainbow is an individual with solid Stones for boundaries; nothing can penetrate their defenses.

One word explains the essence of their craziness: Immaturity.

Children are open to anything and everything, because they lack the perspective, which comes from the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, of education and experience. Those same little kids get their feelings hurt when another person tells them, “No.” Then, they go on to react as either: Rage-ers, by throwing a tantrum; or, Stuff-ers, by pouting.

Mature individuals accept responsibility for their own learning, growing, and doing. Daily, they make a purposeful effort to work on the things within their control and to consciously forgive the rest. They fully understand the importance of the boundaries which define where they end and another person begins. In the simplest of terms, they are: Distinguished.

Definitions:

Characterized by excellence or distinction; eminent.
Dignified in conduct or appearance.
Noble or dignified in appearance or behavior.
Eminent; famous; celebrated.
Advanced in character, attainment or reputation.
Of great significance or value.

Synonyms:

Eminent, great, important, noted, famous, celebrated, well-known, prominent, esteemed, acclaimed, notable, renowned, prestigious, elevated, big-time, famed, conspicuous, illustrious, major league.

Let two distinguished individuals come together and the odds of a mutually rewarding, healthy, and growing relationship skyrocket. One word and two people is the secret to building dynamic relationships and taking our society to new heights of discovery!

www.kimfoard.com