Truth and Freedom

Truth and FreedomIn the journey from childlike innocence to adult discernment, one trait requires a metamorphosis.

Naivety contains the seeds for discovery and destruction.

As to which we will nurture, that choice is within our control.

To fall under the influence and control of another person is dangerous. A lack of worldly experience and understanding can result in harm, to ourselves and others. Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment. Discretion is the better part of valor.

Yet, these are the naive qualities all children enjoy and we, older kids, can continue to practice:

  • Free from guile, cunning, or sham
  • Absence of complexity, artifice, or pretentiousness
  • Childlike directness, simplicity, and innocence
  • Spontaneity and freedom from self-consciousness
  • Sincerity and unaffected simplicity
  • Absence of insidious or treacherous cunning

As we practice the pure qualities of naivety, there is one, very, large caveat: Beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. In other words, the Machiavellians, Narcissists, Borderlines, Histrionics, and Manipulators do not subscribe to a mutually beneficial Code of Honor.

To combat the scurrilous tactics of these Con Artists, only one weapon is required: The Truth.

Before we engage in daily interaction with the Disturbed Characters, the Truth empowers us to be Free.

  • Our conscience is free from regret and blame.
  • We boldly step through the doors of new opportunity.
  • The benefit of our actions lifts the spirits of all in our care.

From the book, Who’s Pulling Your Strings?, by Harriet B Braiker, PhD, comes this powerful observation:

Think of direct, clear communication—especially when it is about the manipulation itself—as the psychological equivalent to holding up a cross to a vampire. Most manipulators recoil in the face of being “busted,” and the air goes out of the pressure they are trying to create just as easily as it escapes a punctured balloon.

Direct, clear communication is just another way of making reference to: The Truth.

From the sages of old is this simple request: “I beg two favors from you; let me have them before I die. First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!”

The truth will set us free.

www.kimfoard.com

Three To Be

Three To BeFor every ending, there is a new beginning.

Leading the way into a bigger word is a little one: Be.

See it?

Be-ginning!

Shakespeare asked the questions, “To be; or, not to be?”

There, really, isn’t a question of our existence. The answer is in the exploration of what it is, “To Be.”

Sterling Character

Yes, the adjective is subjective. Nobody wakes in the morning to believe their character is bad. Yet, do we wake to the Wooden Creed? “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”

Again, some might want to argue that “best” is subjective. It is, if we compare ourselves to others; It is not, if we judge ourselves to a higher standard. Through all of civilization, there have been Codes of Conduct. The best of them are simply a map to guide us in The Journey to the highest quality of life.

Passionate Commitment

Knowing something and doing it are two, entirely, different concepts. In fact, choosing one and forgoing the many is the purest definition of commitment. Contempt for failure and death is another measure of being, all in; Or, all out, if we consider the example of the skydiver.

At the moment of jumping from a perfectly good airplane, the skydiver is committed to reaching the ground. They have two choices: Dead, or Alive. In other words, if they have a passion for life, their entire focus is on a successful landing.

Dynamic Communication

Before babies can say a single word, they are effective communicators. By facial expression, tone of voice and body language, they command attention. They know what they want and how to ASK for it. Why are so many adults dysfunctional? They stopped learning. Literally, the answer is that simple.

We are either growing; or, we are dying. Entropy is the natural physical condition. There is a higher realm, which requires pushing beyond the resistance of what “Is”, to what can “Be.” All we do begins with a thought. We learn by doing. The fun is in the doing. Let’s have fun learning!

In the course of a lifetime, people will come and people will go. There are chance encounters, whereby strangers become friends. There are diabolical missions of deceit, whereby wolves appear to be sheep. In between, are all the other opportunities for new relationships.

There is a season for all things. Remember, though, there is only one YOU. You are a unique creation, no better than any other; yet, just as good as all the others.

As others seek a relationship, begin with the end in mind: Sterling Character, Passionate Commitment, and Dynamic Communication.

Three To Be: Free.

www.kimfoard.com

Dare

DareRecently, I enjoyed the opportunity to ask a young man the secret to his success.

He continues to thrive while others failed to survive.

His three responses lock into, and rhyme with, one word: Dare.

To have the courage; To challenge someone to do something requiring boldness; To confront or oppose boldly; To be courageous or bold enough to do something; A challenge.

Two years ago, as he accepted the challenge to give his life in service to many, he quickly observed and shared this pearl of wisdom, “In school, the attitude is that no one can fail. In our business, failure is deadly. If we make a mistake, people die.”

From the abstract of academia to the fantasies of the political realm, false propaganda is postulated as, “Too big to fail.” Pride does go before a fall. Arrogance mixed with ignorance is a volatile combination.

Those clamoring for national leadership positions have much to learn from those on the front lines of life. These are the lessons the wannabes can learn from a young man who dares to be responsible for himself and those in his sphere of influence.

This young leader of men and producer of wealth has a story to share, encapsulated in these three words:

Aware

Prepare

Care

Those three words rhyming with Dare are mine. Yet, this is his story. When asked about the top three lessons gleaned and what might keep others safe, this is what I learned from him.

Aware

“Don’t believe what anyone says, until you check it for yourself.”

The world is what we make of it; if it doesn’t fit, make alterations. In other words: if it is to be, it is up to me. Talking about something, or what might be tried someday, is a worthless substitution for getting it done.

Prepare

“Don’t become complacent in what is working; imagine it all coming apart.”

Those who are builders put it together one piece at a time. They understand what it takes to make it hum; while it does, they’re less than bum. In their minds, they break down the systems; to build them again, until they’re glistening gems.

Care

“Don’t think there are any unimportant details; pay attention to absolutely everything.”

Every small cog is of importance. Fix it before it breaks. Measure it to manage it effectively. Tools in the hands of those who know how to use them receive tender loving care. The hands of those hard workers have earned their compensation. Much more important than the money is the compassion for people.

In watching his eyes and body language, I was reminded of earlier days. Always, his heart has been generous, attitude respectful, and spirit strong. From the very beginning, I’ve heard, “Dad, I’m a hands-on kind of guy.”

Much more than hands on, he dares to be Aware, Prepare and Care.

For that, we’re all thankful.

www.kimfoard.com

Pearls and Pigs

PearlsHave you ever been attacked for offering goodness?

Have you ever been condemned for doing right?

Has another person ever trampled you into wondering, “What’s up with that?!”

There must be a better way.

In the realm of human nature, literally, there is nothing new under the sun. Things today are about like they have always been. Amazing, though, when it’s our pain, the hurt is real.

When managing our emotions, this one encouragement is a reminder of the power that is ours: We get what we allow. In other words: If we do what we have always done, we will get what we have always got.

Tired of being attacked? Sick to death of being condemned? Crawled out of the mud, for the very last time? Want a better Way?

Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy.

Don’t throw your pearls to pigs!

They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

Who are PIGS?

People
Intently
Glorifying
Self

What are PEARLS?

Precious
Exquisite
Arrangements
Reflecting
Life’s
Secrets

The precious gem of your multifaceted life story deserves to be shared with the world. Just, because a few ugly creatures are ungrateful, does not diminish the value of YOU.

Accept the responsibility for offering your gifts to the wrong people, move beyond the pen of PIGS, and offer your PEARLS to those patiently waiting for the one and only, unique, creation of YOU.

www.kimfoard.com

Flights of Fancy

Baby StepsI have a memory of something, which I don’t remember.

Since all we do begins with a thought, I must have been thinking, “That looks like fun. Take the next step.”

I was learning to walk. Walk at one; Talk at two: I must have been approaching one year old.

We’ve all heard the expression, “We learn to walk by falling down.” Never to do anything according to societal norms, I took that idea to a whole new level: the Basement.

Yep, I rode that baby walker down a flight of steep stairs and sailed onto the concrete floor of the basement. Don’t remember a thing; yet, I had recurring scary dreams of the event into my teen years.

All we do begins with a thought.

This last week, I had a phone conversation with a fellow, who wants to find purpose for his life by looking to others for the answer. His approach is, “I’ll know what I’m supposed to do when I feel it.”

So sorry; It doesn’t work that way. In fact, feelings flow from what we do. In other words, do the work; then, there will be the appropriate feelings.

What work?

All we do begins with a thought.

For a toddler, the thought was, “That looks like fun. Take the next step.” Unaware of the lessons waiting for me, I learned much. Among the take-a-ways, “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”

As older kids, we forget that lesson and stunt our own development.

This last week, I was honored to engage in a Coaching Session of a young entrepreneur, who has asked for me to share my thirty years of business experience with him. In the course of our time together, these words captured the essence of his success, “Dan, the reason you learn so quickly is because you are willing to make the mistakes.”

That is the essence of success: Make mistakes and Learn from them, quickly.

Does that mean we become loose cannons, blasting away, hurting others in our quest to learn? Simple answer is, “No.” What it does mean is that we plan and prepare to make mistakes. “We don’t know what we don’t know.” If we want to know It, guaranteed, we will make mistakes in the discovery process.

Flights of FancyOh, and those scary dreams of bouncing the walker down the stairs, to land upright?

They became much more fun, when I let go of the fear, pulled back on the yoke, and soared into the unknown.

Go ahead, just, Do It. Strap on the knee pads, buckle on a helmet, pull on a pair of leather gloves, slip into your favorite flak jacket and take a Flight of Fancy.

www.kimfoard.com

Tops and Bottoms

Tops and BottomsDearest Friend,

Thank you for your thoughtful questions.

“How do you stay at the top?”

“Which is the hardest: Making it to the top; or, Staying there?”

“What is the secret to avoid muddled down?”

The answer to these questions arrives in the form of these Universal Principles and Proverbial Riddles:

Easy is Hard; Hard is Easy
First will be Last; the Last, First
Top is the Bottom; Bottom is the beginning of a Top

And, that, my friend, is the secret:

Good, better, best.
Never let it rest,
‘Til our good is better,
And our better, best.

As a reminder, Coach John Wooden believed: “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”

Each one of us, individually, is capable of much more than we, originally, think we can do.

All we do begins with a thought.

At one time, I believed in the axiom:
Preparation + Opportunity = Success
That’s wrong; we don’t need to wait around for opportunity.

All we need to do is Prepare;
And, Opportunities are everywhere.

In other words, as Coach Wooden exemplified and his Players affirmed: Build It; and, They Will Come.

The fun is in the doing. And, yes, you’re right and Coach teaches: It’s easier to make it to the Top the first time, than it is to remain there. Because, once we think we have arrived, someone is digging a hole and planting us, six feet deep.

Life is like a bicycle: Pedal, or Coast, the choice is ours. When we coast, we’re headed downhill. It’s so easy, at the Top, to become lazy and complacent. Definition of Rut: a grave with the ends kicked out.

Staying on top of our game requires taking our game to new heights of performance. Coach says, “Be quick, don’t hurry.” He believed in the Fundamentals. In other words, break it down (Pyramid of Success) and build it back: better, faster, stronger, bigger, and more beautiful. Use lots of mortar: Faith and Patience.

John Wooden was a Teacher before and after he was a Coach. His encouragement for us, “Call yourself a Teacher.” In his words, “What a leader learns after you’ve learned it all counts most of all.” By taking the science of anything to an art form, we discover joy. By teaching it, we learn even more.

It’s not the arena in which we perform, or even the performance itself. It’s all about the People.

Reputation is what others think about us; Character is who we, really, are. Building character is within our control; Managing the expectations of others is not.

If we focus on: People, over Process; the Why, before What; and, the Reason for the Results; we attract those of like mind. We are known by the Company we keep.

Character can be defined as:

Respect for Self
Respect for Others
Respect for Rules

From the passion at the core of who we are, we can offer our best in service to all.

Look around and you will see your Team, comprised of: Customers, Vendors, Friends, Peers, Family, and Community. We look to you for the Value of your life Story. There’s only one of you. We want and need what you have to offer. Not everyone will be accepting. That’s OK; many will be appreciative, of YOU.

I encourage you to say, “Yes, please,” to those who choose to be on your Team; and, “No, thanks,” to those finding fault with Your Way. In fact, as Coach Wooden did, help them find another Team.

After we think there is no room for improvement in the fundamentals (Building Blocks and Mortar comprising the Pyramid of Success), we can always improve in how we manage our precious Time. Coach was a crusader for Time Management. As a leader, he accomplished more in two hours than other coaches did in two days.

We learn by doing.
The fun is in the doing.
Let’s have fun learning!

There is no Easy way; only, Hard challenges, which inspire us to new discovery of opportunity and levels of achievement.

First is, simply, a place of Ego; Last is just another word for Endure, which does produce legacies through service to others.

Reaching the Top is, simply, a fleeting moment of recognizing it as the Bottom of a foundation, from which to build, again.

Let’s keep building.

Best,

www.kimfoard.com

Conduits of Goodness

Conduits of GoodnessIf you’re ever in need of a conversation starter, just look right into the eyes of another person and ask this question, “What is the passion at the core of everything you do?”

One of two things is guaranteed to happen: Immediate animation, as the person begins to share that passion with you. Or, a deer-in-the-headlights look, with a really long, awkward, pause, as the individual painfully looks for a way of escape.

Escape from what; their own life?! All we want is to understand what makes them tick, that which empowers them to take a licking and keep on ticking.

Last week, I was the beneficiary of these questions from a fine young man:

  • How do you set boundaries?
  • How do you keep your boundaries from being a box that you live in and one that keeps you from fulfilling your potential?

His questions came several days after our conversation, which included the question, “What is the passion at the core of everything you do?” In addition to his questions, above, he went on to provide an answer to my original question, by responding with, “I do not know.”

Do you, know?

Can each of us answer these questions?

Why do I exist?

How can I make a difference in the lives of others?

What is the appropriate way for delivering the very best to the world?

For those who know and those who don’t, the answer is in this one sentence, “Become wonderful conduits for the goodness from above to flow through us for the benefit of others.”

You know; conduit: a hollow tube for the transference and protection of something valuable.

Those without a connection to the source of goodness and void of a desire to share are, simply, an empty tube. In other words, they have no purpose and worthless boundaries. Tap on them and they ring hollow. Squeeze them and they collapse into a wrinkled mess.

Now, imagine conduit connected to streams of living waters, bubbling, high-pressured, and dynamic at the source. At the destination are beneficiaries eagerly waiting to be served.

Service; now, that’s a novel idea: Bended knee, Caring attitude, Humble heart, Patient spirit, Kind mind, Generous soul, and Helping hands. Yes, please.

So, it’s really quite simple to discover the Passion at the core.

Hint: It comes from the Source above.

As for boundaries, say, “Yes, please,” to everything that makes us better conduits and “No, thanks,” to everything else.

In fact, we have complete freedom to manage our boundaries. Boundaries are, simply, the outside diameter dimensions of our conduit. Individually, we have the right and responsibility to expand them for the benefit of those in our sphere of influence.

In the physical realm of steel conduit, expansion requires cutting, grinding, torching, bending, and welding new pieces into what already exists, to make the core larger. In the emotional, mental, and spiritual realms, the process will feel about the same.

If we have a passion for what flows through us, we are constantly pushing at the boundaries of the Why, How, and What of our existence. In fact, we are busily learning and growing to be, better, “Conduits for the goodness from above to flow through us for the benefit of others.”

www.kimfoard.com

Count the Cost

Count the CostIn every decision we make, two resources are at risk: Time and Money.

One, or both, will either be consumed, or invested.

The management of each is within our control.

We choose whether to spend, or invest.

We either choose, or the world will choose for us.

In fact, even when we choose, the world is prepared to laugh at us. That’s OK if we have put forth the effort to become all of which we are capable. The laughter of others, then, is simply their opinion of our effort. Success is the peace of mind in knowing we did our best.

Our best is only possible with Planning, Preparation, Practice and Performance. In any endeavor, these components form a circle of learning and growth.

All We Do Begins With A Thought

These seven magic words (above) ending in a seven letter word (THOUGHT), with U in the center, are the Alpha and Omega of the Four P’s.

In the beginning, is a Thought; the bigger and bolder, the better. Because, that initial thought becomes a target, a Goal if you will, worthy of what we choose to Do. The Four P Horsemen of Planning, Preparation, Practice and Performance will carry our effort through to a result and the appropriate Celebration of accomplishment, at the end.

This is the natural progression of a single Thought:

1.) Goal
2.) Planning
3.) Preparation
4.) Practice
5.) Performance
6.) Celebration

All We Do Begins With A Thought

From the moment we have a Thought, all the way through the process of what we Do, there will be a Cost to every choice we make, guaranteed.

From the Good Book, comes this encouragement:

But, don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, “There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!”

In every decision we make, two resources are at risk: Time and Money.

Of the two, Time is the most precious. Those who consider themselves Idea People, with runaway thoughts, fail to recognize the Cost for their flavor of the moment. If they are thinking about This, it is impossible to think about That.

There’s a Price we pay for, absolutely, everything.

As the progression of activity moves forward through each stage, from Thought, to Planning, Preparation, Practice and Performance, there is either an actual monetary Price, or an opportunity Cost of forgone alternative options. Even, the occasion of joyful Celebration requires the resources of Time and Money for the opportunity to tie ribbons and bows around the accomplishment.

Guess what, though? With accomplishment, come even bigger dreams. They will arrive in the form of more and different thoughts about new opportunities, heretofore, unseen. The cycle of learning and growth repeats.

All We Do Begins With A Thought

Please, count the cost.

www.kimfoard.com

Coach

Pyramid of Success“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”

John Wooden,
Legendary UCLA Basketball Coach
~

All we do begins with a thought.

To achieve success, there must be: The Want To. That’s the thought.
Then, there must be: The Want To, Do. That’s the action.

Knowing and Doing are two very different aspects of life. One is passive; the other is active. One is a state of mind; the other is the motion of body. One without the other is of little value.

Recently, a story about Coach Wooden grazed my consciousness. Then, it began to burrow deep within my soul. Now, that thought has become an action: to share my discovery with you.

From the book Great by Choice is a compelling narrative about Coach Wooden. He started each new college basketball season with the same comment, “We will begin by learning how to tie our shoes.”

Just imagine the freshman players thinking, “Why?!” The seniors eagerly participated in the lesson How to Tie Our Shoes, because they knew, “There was a way to do everything.”

In the words of one player, “By the time the games came along, they just became memorized exhibitions of brilliance.”

That high level of excellence was built block by block from the blueprint of Coach John Wooden. It was much more than a game plan. It is a philosophy of life and competition. As timely today as it was for the his century of performance, Coach aptly named it a Pyramid of Success.

At the heart of everything I know about Coach Wooden, he was respectful of Time and Tone. Practices began and ended like clockwork (Time). He opened the first moments of practice in a quiet voice (Tone). The passion at his core produced Planning, Preparation, and Progress to reach Goals.

All we do begins with a thought.

The thought was to encourage development of their best from all within his sphere of influence (the Goal). The actions were focused on Planning (Pyramid of Success), Preparation (How to Tie Shoes), and Progress (National Championships).

Thought without action is worthless.
Action without thought is dangerous.

Time can be well invested by examining the Tone, at The Official Site of Coach John Wooden: http://www.coachwooden.com/

At the bottom of the introductory website page, is a Proceed to CoachWooden.com link.

The next page is Coach’s definition of Success, with a Welcome (Click Here) flag.

After listening to his personal introduction, click on the Pyramid of Success tab, at the top of this page. Coach starts his building process at the lower left corner. Industriousness is the first cornerstone in the foundation of the Pyramid of Success.

After clicking on a building block, look for the basketball on a string, to the right of each narrative. By clicking on the basketball and dragging it down, the rest of the story comes into view.

Navigation works best, by clicking the yellow button: Back to the Pyramid. The black flags at the bottom of each narrative (Previous Block and Next Block) are somewhat restrictive to individual study paths.

In our daily conversations, we talk about these principles with one another. Funny, though, isn’t it? So easy to say; So, very, hard to do.

Coach simply inspires and encourages us to remember and do.

www.kimfoard.com

Laws of Motion

Laws of MotionWhen an idea is tested and verified, it becomes much more than the original thought.

It moves past the semantics of a suggestion to a full-fledged law.

Now, I know that Political Correctness has disdain for the notion of law.

Yet, we fully appreciate the law of gravity. It is a recognized force on our bodies 24/7 and provides the security for us to stick on this spinning orb of Earth.

Sir Isaac Newton is the fellow given credit for “discovering” the Law of Gravity and the three Laws of Motion. Since he was able to put words around these ideas, let’s give thought to why these principles affect our relationships.

Universal Gravitation

Gravity or gravitational forces are forces of attraction. Every object in the universe that has mass exerts a gravitational pull, or force, on every other mass. The size of the pull depends on the masses of the objects.

We attract the attention of others. Everyone within our sphere of influence is affected by our choices. The effectiveness of the pull depends on the size of our character.

First Law of Motion

The first law says that an object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, with the same direction and speed. Motion (or lack of motion) cannot change without an acting force.

Habits are so easy to form and so, very, hard to break. Whether stuck in a rut, or constantly searching for the next adventure, people continue on a distinctive path.

Second Law of Motion

The second law says that the acceleration of an object produced by an applied force is directly related to the magnitude of the force, the same direction as the force, and inversely related to the mass of the object.

Less is more. Size of ego will have an inverse relationship on acceleration to growth and opportunity. Large egos seldom budge from their grandiosity.

Third Law of Motion

The third law says that for every action (force) there is an equal and opposite reaction (force). Forces are found in pairs.

The ebb and flow, the give and receive, the yin and yang, creates the harmony of the universe and enhances our interaction with another person.

The common denominator inherent within all of these laws is a Force. In every culture, religion, and belief system, there is an underlying premise of Right and Wrong. No formal reference to an authority is necessary to state the obvious.

Each person knows this to be true. Individually, deep down, in our heart, soul, and mind, we can feel the forces. One is light; the other is dark. One is love; the other is hate. One pulls us up; the other pushes us down.

The force, which we choose to act upon us, will determine our:

Pull ~ Effectiveness of our efforts on those in our sphere of influence.

Progress ~ Effectiveness of our dynamic actions, direction, and speed.

Prospect ~ Effectiveness of our responsiveness to new opportunities.

Performance ~ Effectiveness of our dance into the hearts, souls, and minds of those we love.

All of these ideas, theorems, and thoughts can be summarized into one statement of this Universal Principle, “What goes around comes around.”

www.kimfoard.com

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